I've decided that it's time to go. My whole life has been a life alone Losing my control Drugs have me under mind control No bonds like an isotope I don't know what the point is Soul isn't joyous I'm a walking, breathing poison Talk is cheap and so is The reasons I try to give for this behavior permitted I'm sick isn't definitive. Neither is anything perception based; printed with images This is ridiculous, isn't it? My visage is pathetic Looking disheveled, crooked, the village idiot. Take the hint for a second Look at what I've done.. I'm showing you the action right before it happens. Before the star turns to fragments. Before the snap happens and it's spread across the Internet And everybody mourns, but only for a second, We can see the lies And it eats alive every part of us. How does it feel to live long enough to see me die? If I said it, it's expected This isn't different Miserable penmanship from a person imprisoned But he's begging to die... And that's typical? How long will it take to get rid of you?? This depression. This suicidal tendency I wish I had a different enemy instead of me. Life isn't worth it.. And dying isn't worth it.. I'm trying to be perfect But my mind isn't perfect I'm supposed to be a better man Supposedly, I'm better than But when I see what I am.. I'm broken pieces from everyone else's hands. I'm foolish,Look at everything that I achieved In exchange for a rotting family tree I'm a fucking joke Spitting lyrics with a puss filled throat And you're wondering why the fuck I explode? I'm too destructive to listen to I'm too egregious Too poetic, too metaphoric, too allegoric Too boring. Too much emotion is pouring Too blunt, too much allusion What the fuck do you want from me? It's confusing I'm done. I'd rather shoot myself and end it Than ever write another fucking sentence I'm finished. I'm done. I'd rather shoot myself and end it Than ever write another fucking sentence I'm finished. Or maybe I shouldn't... There's a lot of things I wish I said but I couldn't. Staring at regret; Tearing at my chest barely have a reason to live.. So why should I do it? To derive meaning is futile It's stupid to assume I know the end from experience but who can? It's crutial, to differentiate the sickness. This is my existence that I visit persistant. consistantly abysmal. Now you're privy Now you see me. It's that simple. Enigmatic shrouds are released with a pint full The blood of Christ is wine inside the Bible. Is that enough? Or should I say it in laymens? I'm an alcoholic killing myself by looking for reasons I'm sorry. If it's not now it's later.. Talking softly; got to lock down my anger. I'm hoping for a cure... Closure maybe. Frozen, achy bones are supposed to break me Right? Should I move again? Or am I nothing but a hooligan? A fool that pens Many instances of same old predicaments Hoping people will hear it and touch him. Ridiculous. That's ridiculous. Past and present tense It doesn't matter what the time line is. You can always hear the time bomb tick until there's nothing left. I'm sorry.

I admit it.. I believed you.. I believed every lie that you weaved I thought that I would find me the peace Of mind that I would need to release this torment I guess that I'm agent orange I'm poisoned; rust filled heavy soul sorry that I could never wash away my genetic code I told myself I'd let it go but the doctors hear your voice echo in the stethescope blood pressure slows drowning in the ebbing of your memory I can't control your spirit is fluid, I can't hold on It's leaking through my fingers til its all gone I would write you an opus, it wouldn't matter.. so I shattered my chest; at least then I would be READ There is something in this madness Like acid that's burning my passion into fragments the ashes are spread on a canvas, like elastic I'm painting my life away so you can have it Tired of the blackness This depression, this static, feeling gymnastic Walking on a tight rope; fastened to nothing Falling in love to break everything. Walking on a tight rope; fastened to nothing and swan dive into suffering. Welcome to the library... Everything is red Everything is red Until everything is dead. x4 cold and I'm bitter Writing it down so you can hear it clear and clean No pages to consider No words on a paper; no aggression, no anger No danger; just music I'm choosing to use it to show you I'm losing my sanity because a paragraph Certainly couldn't do it; books are just useless Vignettes are worthless Art, doesn't accrue, so fuck it I'll use Words that you can understand I'm godless; an Athiest that don't believe in Heaven or Hell but I'm followed by demons and never can tell; the difference between them But you're a Christian; don't books mean Salvation? You told me it's okay... (It's Okay) You let me sit in your house; but won't stay (Won't Stay) and everything that I've written the whole time has never been soul tied to anything in your cold gaze (cold gaze) Crash landed in your life In my story; the antagonist will die One, two, three, snap, shattering of minds You will meet the animal inside Look me in the eyes Barbwire smile holding back faith One stab every time the heart palpitates All I need is a knife to leave you read/red My library is filled with the books of the Dead.

Let me die..... Feeling unconscious is better than living beside an empty mind.. I have tried, I have tried to be better.. Life has denied me forever Feeling like a lycan I can see it in my heart... as I find that nothing is within; I don't like it.. I am sober.. I am also hating that I'm sober retaining my composure people ask, and my answer is no sir; I can't handle lament or cemented existence If I say I'm good, then it isn't. lie to your face and I'll tell you that I'm different.. I can handle everything presented.. I already know that I'm broken. I'm hoping you see what I have hidden in the message.. that I've been infected to the point my immune system disconnected and death is the disinfectant. That's easy... nobody even needs me.. One shot to the face Bottles break, wallets break. it seems fake I can't tell what's real What isn't, autism? Or Awe striken, schizophrenic vision? I'm lost in it; caustic.. it bites like a winter wind; I can't bend but I break and that is the mistake that I made One shot. It's easier to feel heavy than it is to seem light. Escapism from real life Whether it's a needle or a pill or a liquid in my veins just to feel like I feel.. x2 Let me live.. Tell me that it isn't this.. Pity trips, and ridiculous petty shit.. I've offended my lineage by a benefit, that I shouldn't get.. A freedom of choice stomping on the graves of every single person before me I won't live long enough to spread my offspring and that's the only thing that hurts now.. the only thought brought up when I'm burnt out laying on the bed that became a prison brain withers; while the pain lingers in the same vision that I think hides and peroxides it.. but it doesn't. an abundance is waiting when I wake up doesn't it bother you? hundreds of thoughts Fuck it, I'm gone, I'll be crushing my lungs Pushing my veins when I'm under the sun til I'm the under the moon while there's nowhere to run any substance that stops it I'm begging for anything let me live... or die, I don't give a fuck. Or maybe I do.. I don't know, I feel faded and I never could prove if either one is correct. The only thing that I have is my mood and I shouldn't trust that, too. Maybe it's a fuck that, too. but who the hell I'm gonna come back to? I have no one. So fuck that mood, I want to feel like I don't have to soul black blue, and bruised from the hold I choose... I'm so numb... I'm so numb and deranged Too scared, so I stomach the pain Dumb fuck, to obsessed with the blade so I shove it in my sinew I'm alive and that feels great. Heart beats in a steel frame and when it dies is the time where I'll feel okay

You're beautiful Every inch of you, misconstrued body image isn't predictable but it isn't true. I look at you the way you should. Maybe if we shared perception, I'd be understood but depression is a substance; Happiness is substance What's this? Chemical imbalances are nothing. To trust in. They bludgeon every corner of the box that you judge with til the picture is cropped and it's disgusting. That's the reason it's hard.. I understand you. I wish I didn't; but I have to. So I can pry apart this notion and show you emotion isn't the whole thing Existence is short lived; I know it. so I want to hold you. Show you that it's fine. It's okay in time your whole weight subsides.. This gravity is temporal That's the benefit of being a mortal instead of being immortal. It isn't easy to go through; but nothing that's worth anything isn't hard On earth everything easy trickles off.. I know. You'd rather cry and be hurt.. I know... but you can't have truth without hurt. There's a difference; Care to back-track and listen? You don't have a reason to die if you're living. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you're fine If never knowing in time you'd be okay and alive when every cog in your mind, rotated the same time and created that stage you maintained for your whole life. It's a choice that you make. See the path and avoid that mistake.. There's too much at stake. Too many paths to create, to many avenues made for you to fracture and break; become awake. There's time. stay strong and remain calm. The greatest mistake is to bury treasure in a graveyard. You're the timekeeper.. Don't allow the sand in the hourglass leak.. Last week you were everything That didn't change Or take a back-seat... Listen Swim, like you never swam reject the epitaph Trajectory should be projected on a better path You can see my thoughts; I got a head of glass... Aquarium; where my schools of thought are broadcast Transparent; so you know it's not a signal of virtue I promise I won't do anything to hurt you. I just want you to live. I just want you to live. I just want you to live. it's better for the issues I have. You're the timekeeper.. Don't allow the sand in the hourglass leak.. Last week you were everything That didn't change Or take a back-seat... Listen x2

The memories of all that I did Crawling in pits For the stark realization that my heart is in a ditch Part of me is sick Begging for the cruelty Slicing at my wrist like a violin to sooth me The violence in movies Silence speaks louder than words do If you understand the languish/language Tell me that it's okay to hurt you and I'll do it, Tell me that you love me and I'll move the Earth Whatever you choose, my view is scourged You decided to guide me through the dirt but you lost me and I'm truly hurt. This isn't what I wanted. Not once, Not a little always feeling like I'm haunted Chiseling a rock big enough to exhaust Sisyphus; it's enough to stop anybody from loving me. and I've given up. Throw my soul to the ghouls. and I hope that they use everything in it to pour out a venom Strong enough to evaporate the whole globe at a faster rate until there's no hope. You can feel me in your veins and I know it's true I don't want to but I'll open you to prove it. I'm A LONE WOLF; COLD FEET Body filled with malice STILL MAN, TIN CAN heart lacking promise I'm a zephyr that morphs to a typhoon whenever separate together A storm; I'm bad weather Teetering mind snaps. Jumping past the borderline I won't pass forty five. Torrid mind, pouring blood over the cold sheets that I despise. Hopefully my body dies before I force demise. Worthless letters on a piece of shit paper Contemplating murder just to plead the fifth later ridiculous sycophant, beligerent iconoclast I embody both extremes. Extremeist slash psychopath; mentally unstable but I just laugh because you're watching me as if I'm property As if I got to be the tight-rope walker while I'm haunted in my dreams even when I don't want her. I'm wading in cold water; waiting to drown. Take me pull me inside; by a rope chained to the ground Without making a sound Until I'm punching at nothing but black Until the lungs in my chest struggle and crack.. I'm a LONE WOLF; COLD FEET Body filled with malice STILL MAN, TIN CAN heart lacking promise I'm a zephyr that morphs to a typhoon whenever Separate together; A storm; I'm bad weather

I finally understand... what love is... and stomaching the fact that I had it and lost it is why I suffer. and the reason that I'm even admitting it to the pencil tip is I'm too proud to admit it in person.. Pity my indifference if you must, but it's difficult to exist in assisted living, I'm chained to predisposition. The women who dealt with every affliction are livid, and separate in different states and conditions I was playing the victim... and I knew it. that's the problem. I caused them. I didn't choose to ignore it. Few can support this when every move chosen was torrid. From abusive music in tandem To every manipulation imagined. Can't fathom it That every situation I handled, we Seen the shattering. I noticed the cracks. They noticed me. I'm mistakenly oblivious. every day I feel the pain of what I'm missing... it's Going to kill me.. and it's everything I didn't want. Blame the hidden thoughts. That appear whenever everything is getting lost. Lines I wish I didn't cross. and it's difficult to admit I'm the reason I'm lost I want to blame everybody else that could probably help. Push away this tainted disease that's so painful he bleeds to wash away the digust He feels and maybe belief in a purity is all that he needs to believe in his own lie.. one more time. Long enough to witness her last ounce of love die. sing a sweet melody to make these maggots sleep That burrow in my mind every time I have to dream Replaying every memory like film I'll spray pesticide inside my skull until they're killed. Brittle and small. I'll let God do his will. Your thoughts are fleeting, and mine's still. Oh well. Searching for ataraxia Certain the past is catching up Hurting so bad and can't adjust I'm about to snap.. please don't let me snap. I'll throw this all away Incinerate my skin.. Burn it away Instead of decay Plenty of pain for penance No repentance Set in my ways. I don't want to embrace what I've became I'm a flame until the fuel dries And then I open my eyes And see the trail of destruction I left behind. I believe you When you tell me you love me And that's the reason my reaction is ugly. Because I Need you. Because I Need you I've always needed you Hold my bleeding hands until I feel safe Squeeze the puss out of me Heal me. ×2

Demonic, I posit the ominous artistry causes the artist to wither constantly It's okay This is heroin you inject in a different way In the arteries and veins. Part of you is crazed Honestly deranged It's okay. If you hide behind your smile you will be okay. Walk inside Haunted mind seeing your family fight in picture frames Your regret became Yoyr reality Damaged faculty, can't react or speak without consequence so let it be Hear the drip drip dripping of the wrist hit The blank page Same sound when the tears drip Twisted ripping of the sinew All because I can't confide with you I'm distant Pitiful existence Did you even consider I did what I did to benefit your sickness? pit this piece of the puzzle in figments Of imaginary struggles and hid it Expected me to find it Or stay quiet Fighting imaginary battles that became science According to you The story is true The portrait is blue and more than a few torturers loom in Your room Or so I assume I can only imagine schizophrenic, but you have more than my baggage I can't handle. Black candles with flames that illuminates inverted colors Is what you see daily But you see more Than I do Before I find you Hide Here we go acting terrified Die, paralyzed thoughts in your mind No creative drive Only painful lies that you try to hide while idolizing pride It doesn't work, right? You need to pull yourself together Realize forever is never It's temporary And every effort to get rid of pressure with the pencil Is wasted if you don't have intention to get better Yeah, I'm talking to you, Not targeting you Learn the difference, before you burn your bridges I'm offering you, a helping hand without the cost of you Mistaking isolation for solitude Listen, you've been Neglected but I know they didn't mean it Do you? You've memorized the cracks inside the cement Raise your head up. Everything's desolate if it's dark enough Let me remind you It's difficult if you forgot it was Because I'm telling you it's getting worse. Are you great, or are you grave? There is nothing left on your war singed Earth So open your eyes before you forfiet first And it's sudden death