Catatonia

by Damien Page

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about

This song is basically me describing a Catatonic state I was in a few months ago because of my schizoaffective disorder and how the person I was with tried to handle it.

It explains the thought process I go through and everything I can experience... but how I'm paralyzed for those moments and cannot respond. Yet, I remember everything.

I go into great detail so that maybe those who have gone through a similar experience can understand and relate, so they know they're not alone in this very scary and off-putting physical condition that occurs.

I love you guys. Hopefully I can make more music like this soon.

Also; don't think I forgot about my ''punchlines'' and wordplay tracks. I have those still. I'll go back to it soon.

For now, enjoy.

lyrics

I'm staring at you whimper... Counting every shed tear
As you whisper to deaf ears with a blizzard
of profanity, The familiar phrase..
are you understanding me? Angel, are you afraid?
You try to hold me closer, I'm dazed, but so tense
That when you try to pull with your strength, I don't bend
I see you beg, and with my mind I try to respond
but physically, my body's already gone
and I'm trying to say something, anything to let you know
This is just a merry go round I can't control..
God embedded me and then he hit the pause button
You really think that when you were weeping I saw nothing?
I absorbed the stimulus, I couldn't react
Maybe I'm blind, but you were too dumb to see that
Rigid and stiff, in the same fucking position
For three hours, and you don't even understand I'm missing

You didn't see it from my side
Maybe If I dipped you in ice you wouldn't mind

How many times you're gonna scream at me
Obscenities like I'm the reason that I'm seeing things
and freeze, I need some clarity,
The cacophany in my head again
I didn't need a pill, I needed your love as a medicine
I was stepping in your doors as sickly,
I couldn't put my feet on the floor as simply
As deciding it's time.. put my life on the line
Travelling from the west to the East,
You promised you'd be protective of me
but I'm stiff as a stone
because I didn't fit a mold...
I am different, you didn't know? I told you
I'm miserable, utilized as a stepping stone
My heart is a graveyard,
You provided the bed of snow
Trying to let you go,
because I'm realizing you're gonna throw me away
but my conscious will never show
Any improvement, so when I return..
I'm gonna lose this,
and maybe find a way to remain lucid
I'm so stiff and pathetic...
Pathetic,
Baby hold my wrists and tell me I'm worth it..
Please... Just please believe me
If I had a way to rid me of this I wouldn't leave
I can't speak, I'm still as a statue, with a migraine
My brain, decides this to hide pain...
Why blame the person that can't handle it
I'm nothing but a time bomb and a source of abandoment

You didn't see it from my side
Maybe If I dipped you in ice you wouldn't mind

credits

released May 9, 2016

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Damien Page Mesa, Arizona

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